


Tender moments leave tender memories

by Saffir



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Artist Steve Rogers, Emotions, Fluff, M/M, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Reminiscing, Smut, Stucky - Freeform, mention of PTSD, reassurance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-07-20 01:48:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19984057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saffir/pseuds/Saffir
Summary: Against his better judgement, Bucky finds himself back in Brooklyn with Steve, heading to visit their old apartment. After the memories of the 30's and 40's resurface with a vengeance, the two return to Stark Tower for a relaxing night in- and end up tangled in each other's arms.





	Tender moments leave tender memories

**Author's Note:**

> I began writing this in mid-June, but it took me a while to finish it, as it was never a priority. But I did finally manage to finish it, so here it is! My second smutty Stucky oneshot!  
> My first Stucky oneshot was purely focused on smut- this time, I wanted to focus more on emotion, on the past, on the trauma they had gone through and the pain of being apart. While I didn't fully cover all of that, I think I managed to write in a lot of emotion and feeling- which was my goal.  
> ALSO! This oneshot, like the first one, goes along with the timeline of my Avengers meet Venom series, which has Thanos's war taking place in late April of 2018. And so, it has been around 6-7 months since Thanos's war, and Steve and Bucky have been engaged for almost the same amount of time.

Bucky hadn't ever expected to be back in New York. He had never even entertained the idea of going back- he had always assumed that he’d stay in Wakanda, that he wouldn't have the courage to go back home and see for himself just how much it had changed. 

But, as Bucky had long figured out, life never went the way he expected. And so, when he found himself standing on a street in Brooklyn for the first time in decades, he wasn't as shocked as he’d have imagined. 

Skyscrapers lined the city, along with glowing billboards and the near constant, yet distant smell of smoke. Technology seemed to be everywhere- whether in the high tech billboards or the phones everyone carried. Bucky wasn't sure what to feel. Here he was, in his home city- yet it didn't feel like his home. It had been so long since he was last here, and so much had changed; he wasn't sure whether he could even call Brooklyn his home anymore. 

His slight discomfort was soon eased though, when he felt a hand on his shoulder- Steve’s hand. Bucky unconsciously raised his own hand to meet Steve’s, and their fingers interlocked. The beginnings of a smile found their way to the edges of his lips, as the warmth of Steve’s hand warmed him up. And with the warmth came the courage to speak, to break the silence between the two. 

“It's so different.” Bucky murmured, glancing around as Steve led him down the street. His metallic blue eyes gazed over stands on the street, billboards and anyone who gave him a strange look. Strangely, the judgemental stares didn't affect him in the slightest. He was too busy staring at the city- or perhaps he had just gotten used to judgemental looks. “So much has changed. I can barely recognize the city.”

“It's surprising, innit?” Steve replied, a small smile on his face. Bucky could even detect a hint of anticipation on Steve’s face- Steve had been expecting this. Of course he had- Steve had been living in 21st century New York for a while now. “I do wonder what our old apartment looks like now.”

“Didn't you go visit it before now?”

Steve shook his head. “No. I guess, I didn't feel right going there without you. That apartment was as much my home as it was yours. It just didn't feel right.” 

“Well, then I guess we can both be surprised, then.”

Steve just nodded, not bothering to reply vocally. But Bucky didn't care- a nod was just as good to him as a vocal reply. 

The walk to their old apartment was quiet- Steve would point out a few changes here and there, while Bucky tightened his grip on Steve’s hand and listened attentively. Steve's eyes seemed to glow with a sort of eager happiness, one that made Bucky smile just by looking at his eyes. But part of Bucky couldn’t help but feel a tad uneasy while walking down this road; some part of him, some deep dark part of him, felt as though he didn't even deserve to be back home. That it wasn't his home anymore. 

But that all eased when he squeezed Steve’s hand. Afterall, wherever Steve was, that was home. Steve _was_ Bucky’s home. And wherever Bucky went, as long as Steve was at his side, he’d rest easy- even if he was in a place he felt that he didn't deserve to be. Steve was always and forever his home- and how funny it was that Bucky had previously claimed that a person could not be a home. Steve was the only person he had; his parents and sisters were long gone, along with all of his old friends and neighbors. Steve was the only person left- and Bucky was happy with that. 

Around them, the crisp fall air danced, moving leaves and blades of grass along with it. It enveloped the both of them like a chilly blanket, raising the occasional goosebumps along their arms. It didn't look like fall out, but the cool breeze was definitely enough to convince anyone of what season it was. And the breeze oddly comforted Bucky, despite the occasional chill it gave him. After all, fall brought back warm memories- when he and Steve would rake leaves up in Bucky's backyard only to jump into the pile and laugh; when he and Steve would make a campfire and roast marshmallows, complaining of the cold and telling ghost stories; when he and Steve would huddle together under the blankets in their apartment, tugging at every inch of each other in an attempt to stay warm while the temperature outside began to drop. The memories were enough to make fall his favorite season.

And so, Bucky soon had a smile on his face as he and Steve walked and walked. They managed to reach their apartment without getting interrupted- though by some of the looks they received, Bucky could tell that some people had recognized either him or Steve- or both. 

From the outside, they could already tell their apartment had changed. A plaque rested on the wood next to the door; a shiny gold plaque with the words “Apartment of Steve Rogers and James Barnes” inscribed in neat black letters. A man stood outside the apartment, dressed in a security outfit. When Steve and Bucky ascended the stairs, the man stopped them.

“Next tour is in one hour.” The man spoke, raising his hand. Steve sighed and pulled out his ID, handing it to the guard. A few seconds passed before realization dawned on the guard, and he stared up at them with wide eyes. “Captain America!” 

“Please, call me Steve.”

“Ah, oh, Steve- I didn't think you’d come here! Don't worry about the tour, you can go in now.” 

Steve thanked the man and held the door open. Bucky also uttered a thank you to the man, and was the first to step into the apartment.

It immediately came to the attention of both Steve and Bucky that despite now being somewhat of a museum, their apartment hadn't actually changed that drastically. Granted, it was obviously cleaned regularly- given the lack of dust anywhere. There were a few signs in the room, and a few items had been moved. Other than that, everything was where it had been when they left it. The photograph of Steve’s mother still hung on the wall, next to a photo of Bucky’s sisters. Papers littered the desk, and a blanket laid haphazardly on the bed, coming close to falling onto the floor. Steve could still see his old sketchbook on the desk, and he pulled it towards him and opened it, glancing at all the sketches he had done. He couldn't help but give a somber smile at the many sketches that filled the now yellowed pages- the sketches of his mother he had done to cheer her up whenever she was sad; the sketches of Bucky done during the winter, of him against the snowy window or near a fireplace; of New York in the summer, with people walking in the streets. Memories came flooding back as Steve turned each page, not even noticing that Bucky was glancing over his shoulder. 

The memories of the 30’s and 40’s crashed into Steve like a wave breaking against a pile of rocks- sudden and giant and breathtaking. Glimpses of the past fluttered through Steve’s mind, all of them in fragments- he didn't know what to think. So many memories sketched on the page, so many lost emotions expressed, so much pain and happiness and obliviousness to the years ahead. To what would become of him, of Bucky. To what would become of both of them. 

He could still remember the last sketch he ever did in that sketchbook- a sketch of Bucky in his army uniform, mere days before he was sent off to war. The apartment had been silent then- neither of them had wanted to acknowledge what was about to happen, how they were about to be torn apart by forces out of their control. Instead, Steve had sat silently and sketched, while Bucky sat still and silent, watching Steve all the while, a sort of curious anticipation gleaming in his metallic eyes. When Steve had finished the sketch, Bucky had sat in awe, fussing over the sketch- insisting many times that it was perfect and he loved it, no matter how much Steve tried to downplay the compliments or his talents. 

A soft hand pulled him out of his daze- Bucky, who was still standing behind him, tugged just barely at Steve's shoulder, as though to beg him to turn around and look at him instead. Steve unknowingly obeyed, turning around to look at Bucky, who shared the same somber look in his eyes.

“Can you believe it, Stevie?” Bucky asked in a soft voice, one that was somber and yet full of so much wonder and nostalgia, all the while being so light and airy that it was hard for Steve to hear. “It hasn't changed. It's our apartment, Stevie. Everything's still here.”

Steve swallowed, his bright eyes watching Bucky’s every move, although unintentional. “Yeah. It looks practically exactly like it did when we left it.”

“God- when did we leave it? The day I got shipped off?”

Steve nodded.

“I can't believe they turned it into a museum. Our apartment, a museum- and think of all the times our landlord threatened to throw us out! And now, it's a piece of history- it doesn't feel real.”

Steve took a step forward- he didn't even think, he just felt the sudden urge to- and stepped right in front of Bucky, encasing him in his arms. It was right on time too, as a tear fell down Bucky’s cheek, and his lip quivered. Bucky’s chest heaved and a silent sob left him, filling the silent apartment. Steve just kept his arms wrapped around Bucky, a single tear falling from his cheek as well. 

“C’mon Buck,” Steve whispered, pressing a small kiss into Bucky’s hair, “let's go. We can always come back.”

Bucky gave a small nod, mostly muffled by Steve’s shoulder, but Steve felt it anyways. Steve grabbed Bucky’s hand, briefly rubbing over the band on his ring finger, and led him out of the apartment. The guard waved an eager goodbye to both of them, seemingly unaware of their emotions- Steve waved back, nonetheless. 

The walk back was quieter than the walk there. So many unspoken feelings and emotions filled the air as they walked hand in hand. They didn't even exchange a single look, content with just the mere physical contact of hand holding. After all the pain both of them had gone through, this was enough.   
Stark Tower stood out against the rest of the city, lit up by bright lights and yet held a surprising chill to it. The sleek windows and sheer height was enough to possibly intimidate some, but for Steve and Bucky, it was the best home they could get. 

After the chaos of Thanos’s war and the difficult mending of friendships, Steve and Bucky had taken to living in the tower, away from society and the government as a whole. After years of fighting, of being seen as nothing but a soldier, Steve was tired, and Bucky was too. The pain that the two had suffered over the years lingered, electrocuted back to life after Thanos landed and threatened to destroy everything they held dear. It had gotten to the point where a therapist had been hired for Steve to try and work through his PTSD and trauma- although he had initially refused until Bucky was given a therapist as well. 

Steve didn't even feel like a soldier anymore. He had fought his wars, he had won his battles and he had saved enough lives. He didn't see why he needed to carry on. He deserved a quiet life, away from the stress of being Captain America, of being everybody’s hero- he just wanted to be Steve. 

Not Captain America, not that brave soldier who landed a plane into ice, nor that man who had buried his trauma to keep a good image in the public eye- he wanted to be Steve, the man who had thrown himself onto a dummy grenade without even blinking, the boy who would sit in a windowsill for hours sketching his mother or Bucky or simply some buildings, and the light of Bucky’s life. He had that opportunity now, after years of service, after years of sacrificing any thought of a normal and happy life to instead save other people and allow them a normal and happy life. He had the chance to be Steve again, to live his truth and address his trauma and his past, with Bucky by his side. And Bucky, who wanted nothing but to return to living rather than just existing, was plenty happy to accompany Steve. 

And so, the two had been given their own floor of the tower, with a bedroom and a kitchen and a small living space, complete with a TV and a very comfortable couch. In the five months since Thanos’s war, that one floor of Stark Tower had become their home. Many nights had been spent laying on the couch and reminiscing, or sitting in the kitchen, laughing as Steve cooked and/or baked. Picture frames now littered the walls- many of Shuri or Natasha or Sam or their many friends and allies; some of old photos of Steve’s mother Sarah, or of Peggy, or of Bucky’s sisters and even his parents. A few journals laid strewn about, alongside mostly empty sketchbooks that Steve was still attempting to fill. 

When the two of them stepped onto the dark, quiet floor, not a single word was exchanged. Rather, they both walked in, still hand in hand, turning on the lights as they walked into the living area. 

They then broke apart, though they stayed in the living room. Bucky went to the pantry and opened it, taking a few moments to shuffle around in it before pulling out a box of some ‘lemon bites’ Steve had gotten at the store four days prior. As Bucky popped one into his mouth, the silence in the room became deafening. Steve’s eyes shifted, almost unconsciously, over to Bucky, taking in tiny details he hadn't really noticed before. He noticed how Bucky’s hair was slightly longer than he remembered it being, how Bucky's eyes seemed to shine in light. When Bucky lifted his head and his eyes met Steve’s, not a word was said. No, not a word- a verbal word, at least. The two seemed to have an entire conversation with their eyes, something they had become experts at by now. 

It was then that an air of comfort fell on the two, and in that moment, nothing else mattered.

~~~~~

“Do you want dinner?” Steve asked, lifting his head a little to see the tv screen a bit clearer.

Bucky shifted a little. “How long have you known me?”

“What do you want for dinner?”

“Mm. Spaghetti.” 

“I’ll go make some, then.”

Bucky’s arms were around Steve before he could even sit up. Bucky held on tight, holding Steve down. “Ah ah ah, not yet. We’re watching a show, I wanna finish this episode with you. Besides,” Bucky nuzzled his head into Steve’s shoulder, “you’re warm. Stay.”

Steve melted. Despite having literal superhuman strength, Steve couldn't muster a single inch of it to push Bucky off- not that he wanted to, anyways. And so, he fell right back down, the blanket still over the two of them as they lay in their bed watching TV. 

It was night now. With the dark sky and glittering stars came the cold winds, the winds which seemed to blow through every home, affecting everyone. And so, Steve and Bucky had retreated to their room and huddled under the warm covers, eventually pulling up a TV show. They watched it rather lazily, neither of them paying much attention to it- no, they were paying more attention to each other.

As Steve shifted back to exactly where he had been, Bucky lifted his head and pressed a kiss onto Steve’s cheek, holding one hand on Steve’s other cheek, cupping his face. 

“Sorry,” Bucky murmured, the faint traces of a smile crossing his lips, “you just looked too pretty.”

Within seconds, Steve cupped Bucky’s face with his hands and pressed a kiss to Bucky’s lips. Bucky melted into the kiss almost immediately, cupping Steve’s face with one hand and running the other through Steve’s hair, which he had yet to get trimmed. 

“You wait too much longer and your hair will start to get to the length mine is.” Bucky laughed as he pulled away. He pressed his thumb against Steve’s cheek absentmindedly, rubbing a slow circle into the unblemished skin. Steve hadn't yet trimmed his beard, either- but Bucky actually liked it. It made Steve look more mature, and _hell_ did Bucky love mature Steve. 

“I’ll cut mine when you cut yours.” Steve replied.

“I don't think so,” Bucky ran his fingers a bit faster through Steve’s hair, “I look good with long hair. You, I like your hair better when it's short. Or at least, an inch shorter than it is right now.” 

Steve ran his own hand through his hair once. “Alright. I’ll see if I can get an inch or two trimmed off.” 

Bucky nuzzled his face ever so slightly against Steve, hoping he wouldn't notice. Alas, Steve did.

“Acting like a kitty there, Buck. A really affectionate kitty.” 

Bucky scoffed softly. “Ha, well, if I’m a cat then what are you? You’re the most affectionate person I’ve ever met.”

“Hmm,” Steve pondered for a moment, cupping Bucky’s face to bring him closer, “I guess that’d make me a puppy.”

Before Bucky could even say anything, Steve’s lips were on his again, and he didn't even care that he had been about to speak. He melted into the kiss, moving in sync with Steve until the world melted away, and it was just the two of them. Nothing else. 

When they pulled apart, the world seemed to fall back into place, despite neither man truly wanting that. They were both much more comfortable with oblivious bliss compared to facing harsh reality- but alas, life was all about harsh reality. 

Steve pressed a tender, gentle kiss to Bucky’s forehead. As he ran a hand through Bucky’s hair, Bucky tilted his head into Steve’s touch, sighing happily. Steve took his hand and began moving it lower, from Bucky’s cheek to his collarbone and down to the rim of his shirt, and he tugged at it. Having known Steve for so long, Bucky knew exactly what Steve wanted- and he complied with little hesitation. He sat up tall and locked eyes with Steve. And then, never breaking eye contact, Bucky pulled his shirt off and tossed it to the side, letting it fall onto the floor in a heap. 

Steve pressed his lips into the crook of Bucky’s neck, peppering the skin with kisses for a few seconds before abandoning the effort altogether. He instead focused his attention onto Bucky, who was leaning forward, and he let his lips crash onto his own. 

The kiss was warm and soft and sweet, and oh so full of emotions left unspoken. Yet, even the thought of unspoken emotions seemed to comfort both of them. Indeed, by time they broke apart, both of them were smiling.

“You're so amazing,” Steve murmured, lowering his head, “so goddamn amazing.” 

Bucky let out a small laugh, running his hand through Steve’s hair. He didn't say anything- perhaps he just couldn't come up with a response- but Steve didn't mind all the same. 

Rather, he began absentmindedly rubbing his ring finger. His eyes glanced at Bucky’s hands, and at his ring finger, where the engagement ring still laid, glinting in the low light. “I can’t believe it.”

“Can’t believe what?”

“This.” Steve replied, gesturing to nothing in particular. “The life we have. There’s no dangers, no responsibilities and we’re gonna be married in the summer, and it don’t feel real.”

Bucky paused, taking a moment to lock eyes with Steve. Something shined in Bucky’s metallic eyes, something Steve wasn’t totally able to discern. Disbelief? Agreement? Steve couldn’t tell.

“Yeah well, Stevie, I guess the universe wanted to give us something nice after all that we went through.” Bucky then let out a chuckle of his own, tossing his head to the side. “God, I mean, we still can barely leave Stark Tower for fear of the government trying to arrest us.” There was a pregnant pause. “How’s Stark handling that again?” 

Steve bit his lip, seemingly ignoring when Bucky managed to slip Steve’s shirt off. “Still fighting the government to get our names cleared. I guess he's using Thanos’s war as a reason to clear us, given how we nearly sacrificed ourselves in that fight.” 

“I’m surprised he’s actually doing that. For us.”

Steve couldn't help but nod. “I am too. After defeating Thanos, he wouldn’t even look at me for two weeks.” Steve cocked his head as Bucky tossed his shirt onto the floor. “I guess I managed to apologize well enough, since he’s helping us out again.”

Bucky inhaled and moved his head to the side ever so slightly. “Yeah well, he still will barely look at me.” 

“It’ll take him a while.”

“I know. I don’t expect him to forgive me.” A silent sob formed at the base of Bucky’s throat, but he bit it down. “I don’t expect him to ever forgive me. I still haven’t even begun to forgive myself.”

Within seconds, Steve’s arms were wrapped around Bucky, pulling him forward. And despite the fact that neither of them had shirts on, Steve’s skin was warm and comforting to Bucky. He rested his head forward, taking a small contented sigh. 

“Well, it’s all in the past now, Buck. We can move forward. Do better.” 

Bucky didn’t say anything, but just nuzzled his head against Steve’s chest. 

“Hey, let’s think happy thoughts, mkay?” Steve pressed a very quick, chaste kiss to Bucky’s lips. “We got a new, nice home now. And hey, we can get that cat you always wanted!”

A smile immediately spread across Bucky’s lips, almost unconsciously. “Yeah. Yeah, we can.” He lifted his head and pressed a kiss to Steve’s lips, taking everything in- the feel of the kiss, how warm Steve’s skin was, how nice his hair smelled- god, it drove him crazy. So damn crazy. “Damn Stevie, how is it that you drive me so crazy? Hm?”

“I don’t know, but you drive me crazy too.” Steve’s lips met Bucky’s again. “Drive me so damn crazy.” 

“Mm, that’s good. Only me, right?”

Steve laughed. “Only you, Buck. Only you.”

Bucky laughed too, in the way that drove Steve crazy- his eyes crinkled and his smile spread across his entire face, lighting it up. He didn’t get much of a chance to look, as Bucky’s lips were on his again, for longer this time. It was slow, passionate- expressing so many emotions that had been buried for so long. Desire, pining, joy, sadness- everything. And Steve loved it. It was so raw, all the emotions he could feel. Bucky always ignited something inside him, always flipped some sort of switch- and Steve didn’t care. Bucky could do anything and Steve would still love him. Steve had never expected to fall this head over heels for anyone, but he did- and boy was he glad he did. Despite the pain it occasionally brought, seeing Bucky smile the way he did was enough to make up for all of it. Bucky was the light of Steve’s life; with Bucky at his side, Steve could do absolutely anything. 

By time the kiss ended, Bucky was tugging at the rim of Steve’s jeans. Steve helped, undoing his belt buckle, all while staring at Bucky. Bucky locked eyes with Steve, as Steve’s jeans came off and were discarded onto the floor. 

The cold air of the naturally cold room bit at Steve’s legs, raising goosebumps- but Steve didn't care. His eyes were locked with Bucky’s, and a look of desire was building up in Bucky’s eyes. So what if Steve was cold- that look was worth it. 

“Mm mm mm, you are so damn beautiful Stevie.” Bucky murmured, leaning forward to press kisses all along Steve’s neck and collarbone. Steve shivered a little, but didn't budge. 

“Not as beautiful as you Buck.” Steve replied without missing a beat.

“Mm. I’d doubt that. You're pretty damn beautiful.”

“Well, you’ve never seen yourself from my eyes.” 

Bucky actually laughed at that. With the laugh of course came a smile, one that spread across his entire face and lit it up, crinkling his eyes in the process. He then pressed a kiss to Steve’s shoulder before halting.

“Well, that is true. But you haven't seen _yourself_ from _my_ eyes, either.”

Steve let out a small chuckle in response before Bucky resumed kissing his collarbone. 

Neither of them really moved for a few moments, other than Bucky as he kissed along Steve’s collarbone. Both of them were just soaking in the others company, both were just happy to sit half naked next to each other on the bed. 

There was no sense of urgency tonight. No need to move on and get it over with- they could just enjoy the company of each other, enjoy sitting half naked together. They didn't feel the need to move fast, or be urgent. After that day’s events, it didn't seem right to them to move fast. All they wanted to do was take everything in- the changes in their lives and what they were now. Nothing else really mattered that much. 

Steve pressed the pads of his thumb into Bucky’s back, before he began rolling his fingers over the skin, forming somewhat of a massage pattern. Bucky gave out a small content sigh as he continued peppering Steve’s torso with kisses. Steve wasn't interested in giving Bucky a full massage, though, but he did give Bucky a half-massage, rubbing slowly on his back. Bucky didn’t seem to mind, and even actually dipped his head a little lower, so Steve could massage the base of his neck. Steve complied, giving Bucky a small half-massage at the base of his neck. 

Bucky soon stopped peppering Steve’s skin with kisses, instead cupping Steve’s face and pressing their lips together. 

“So beautiful,” Bucky murmured quietly, breaking apart for a second before pressing his lips back onto Steve’s. “How did I get so lucky to get you?”

Steve let out a small laugh. “I think I’m the lucky one here, Buck.” 

Another kiss, and a moment of silence. “I think we're both lucky.” Another small kiss. “I mean, look at everything that happened. All the forces that tried to drive us apart, but here we are.” Bucky laughed, holding his hands out to gesture to nothing in particular. “Half naked in _our_ bed!” 

Steve laughed as well, light and hearty. “Yeah, I definitely wouldn't have expected this to happen after I came out of the ice.” 

They both laughed at that- truthfully, neither of them had expected to get this far. No dangers, no responsibilities- it was a dream come true. 

Sometimes it felt too good to be real, but everyday they were reminded that it was indeed real. They could finally live a life together, in peace. They could finally get married, get some pets, all of that. They could finally do what they hadn't been able to do before.

And with a hint of that thought, Bucky rolled himself forward and pressed yet another kiss to Steve’s lips, before he turned his attention to his own pants. With a tug, he began to pull them off- Steve quickly took notice and helped. 

Bucky took almost no notice of the cool air biting at his now bare legs, but instead turned his attention wholeheartedly to Steve. 

Without any warning, a sultry smirk slowly formed on Bucky’s lips, and Steve instinctively knew what was coming. Sure enough, just as he expected, Bucky pushed Steve down onto the bed, laying him on his back. 

All at once, the dominant side of Bucky took over, as desire burned hot in his eyes. Ooh boy, did Steve love it when Bucky was dominant. 

Despite his dominant side taking over, Bucky didn't lose an ounce of his gentleness- when he came down for a kiss, it was still soft and gentle, albeit a lot more passionate and with tongue. 

Bucky didn't hesitate now, though. Within moments, his fingers were wound underneath the hem of Steve’s boxers- a moment or two after that, and Steve’s boxers were tossed onto the floor, leaving him fully naked and completely at Bucky’s mercy. But Steve didn't feel the least bit worried- he knew Bucky. He knew what he was like- and Bucky definitely wasn't the rough type, no matter how dominant he liked to be. 

Bucky took a few moments to just pepper kisses all over Steve, eventually finding his way to Steve’s thighs. He kissed the inside of Steve’s thighs, down his legs, and back up his body again- seemingly ignoring that Steve was beginning to burn with desire. Bucky was much more patient that Steve, and Steve both loved and hated it. Bucky let himself be preoccupied with leaving kisses all over Steve’s body for a minute, but his attention soon shifted to Steve and the desire forming in the air. Bucky let out a low laugh, for no reason in particular, and pressed a loving, tender kiss onto Steve’s cheek. 

“Buck, please.” Steve begged, raising his arms up to cup Bucky’s face. “I need you. Please.” 

“You sure?”

“I’m sure. Please, I need you.” 

Bucky couldn't bring himself to reject Steve’s plea. And so, Bucky immediately sprung into action, tugging at his own boxers until they slid off, then he tossed them onto the floor. 

With a quick spread of lube over his fingers, Bucky slipped one into Steve, tearing a moan from Steve’s throat. Bucky couldn't help but grin. He could thankfully remember many of the times he had slept with Steve- he had always loved making him hot and bothered. Steve was always so cute.  
Steve couldn’t contain himself, and soon, moans were flooding from his lips as Bucky inserted a second and even a third finger. Despite the fact that Steve had the super serum flowing through his veins and would heal exceptionally quickly if anything were to happen, Bucky still liked to be careful and gentle- which was one of the things Steve absolutely adored about Bucky. 

Bucky shifted slightly until he was partly hovering above Steve and partly leaning on his side, so that he could cradle Steve’s head with one arm while he used the other to fuck into Steve in long, deep strokes. All at once, Bucky was both dominant and gentle- treating Steve with the upmost care and kindness while driving him mad and reducing him to a hot mess at the same time, and Steve loved it. This was the Bucky he knew and loved- and despite all the time that had passed, Steve felt the pre-war Bucky coming back, felt the warmth and gentleness and dominance that Bucky had exuded so much before they had been ruthlessly torn apart by the animal that was war. And after all, even though so much time had passed and they were both littered with physical and mental scars, this was still his Bucky.

The Bucky of the 30’s and 40’s that had adamantly taken care of Steve, made him soup when he was sick and saved him from fights, he was still here, just now covered in the scars of time. The traumas of war, the traumas of being brainwashed and used and manipulated for decades, it filled every ounce of Bucky’s being- but the pre-war Bucky was just as strong a presence. 

A single tear fell from Steve’s cheek, and was quickly noticed by Bucky, who cradled Steve’s head even more and moved his face down. “What’s the matter sweetheart?” Bucky asked, quickly wiping the tear away. 

“Just reminiscing.” Steve murmured, a smile on his lips. 

Bucky smiled softly, and thrust his fingers forward hard, which immediately broke Steve. Steve falls- his body tenses up, as though electrocuted, and white clouds his vision as stars twinkle in his eyes. It’s everything Steve ever wanted all at once- and when it’s over, he falls limp like a ragdoll, all clear thoughts gone from his mind, instead replaced by sheer pleasure and exhaustion. 

Bucky immediately pulled Steve close and cradled him, holding him close as Steve recovered from the complete onslaught of stimulation. It did take him a few minutes, but when he finally woke out of his post-orgasm trance, Bucky was cradling his entire body, pressing butterfly kisses to his cheeks. 

“You’re so kind to me,” Steve whispered in a slightly slurred voice, “So very kind to me. What did I ever do to deserve you?” 

Bucky let out a small laugh, kissing Steve. “More like, what did _I_ do to deserve _you_?” Bucky pressed a few kisses to Steve’s cheeks and forehead, and even a brief one to the very tip of his nose and eyelashes. “You wonderful guy, what did I do to deserve you?”

Steve held his arms up and wrapped them around Bucky’s neck, pulling him down a little. Bucky rested against Steve for a few moments, as Steve pulled out of his post-orgasm and regained his train of thought.

A minute or so passed of blissful silence- of the two of them cradling each other, thinking of nothing else but the other. However, as soon as Steve fully regained his thoughts, he wrapped his legs around Bucky’s waist and pressed a kiss to his lips. 

“Fuck me.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow and looked down at Steve, a slight tinge of surprise on his face. “Right to the point, okay. You’re really determined tonight, hm?”

Steve laughed. “Not messing around tonight, Buck.” 

“I can tell.” 

Bucky lifted one of Steve’s legs, cocking his head. Steve grabbed a condom from the bedside drawer and handed it to Bucky, who rolled it on while still cradling Steve’s head with one hand. After a reassurance from Steve that he was ready, Bucky lifted Steve’s leg and pushed himself in.

He immediately drew a loud moan from Steve’s mouth- and they were both very thankful that the walls and floors of Stark Tower were thick. 

Bucky didn’t move immediately, but instead shifted his body ever so slightly before lifting Steve up a little, holding him just barely off the bed. After another reassurance from Steve, Bucky began to move. 

It was slow at first. Despite having done this quite a few times before, a part of Bucky was still afraid that he’d hurt Steve. After years of doing nothing but hurting people, how could Bucky _not_ somehow hurt Steve? Steve, thankfully, picked up on Bucky’s worries pretty quick.

“You can move. You won’t hurt me Buck. You can’t hurt me.” Steve lifted his hand into the air, cupping Bucky’s cheek as they locked eyes. “Even before I got the serum, when I was so small and fragile, you never hurt me. Not once. You can’t hurt me.”

The statement gave Bucky a little confidence. And so, after taking a sharp inhale, Bucky slammed forward, ripping a moan from Steve’s throat. Steve tossed his head back, the pleasure of the situation immediately overwhelming him. Good god, how could a person ever feel this much pleasure? 

Steve was still so raw, so frail that even the slightest movement from Bucky caused a rush of pleasure and endorphins to rush through his body like molten lava. It filled every inch of his body, every nerve, lighting his entire body up as Bucky quickly began to pick up a rhythm. 

Bucky remembered this. He remembered exactly what to do- even though Steve’s body was different. Larger. Bucky quickly picked up the rhythm Steve had always loved- a fast but somewhat gentle rhythm that left both of them reeling from overstimulation. 

Bucky’s hips stuttered slightly as he got back into the rhythm, slamming his hips forward as Steve’s hips met his. He begins to also feel the full effects of the stimulation, endorphins running rampant through his body as pleasure begins to overwhelm him. 

At the same time, Steve is drowning in pleasure underneath Bucky. Every nerve in his body feels as though it’s lit by a live wire, and his body tenses and relaxes constantly. His body’s alive, his back arching off the bed as he tries valiantly to meet each and every one of Bucky’s thrusts. He mostly succeeds, meeting most of Bucky’s thrusts with ease. Pleasure rolls through his body, through every nerve and vein and inch of his body, into every crack and crevice, until Steve can’t even discern what’s real or not. Pleasure clouds his vision and he cries out with raw pleasure and emotion, tossing his head back as he lets out loud moans. God, he hadn’t felt this good in so long. 

Both of their bodies heated up, but they didn’t dare move an inch apart. Bucky cradled Steve’s body as he slammed forward, as though to comfort Steve, reassure him that yes, this was real. This was all real, and neither of them could truly believe it. But it was, and just that thought was comfort enough to both of them. 

“I love you,” Bucky murmured, his throat raw, “so damn much. I love you, Stevie.”

Steve gasped and lifted his arm up, caressing Bucky’s face as he tried to halt his moaning for a few seconds so he could speak. “I love you too, Bucky. So, so damn much. You’re my everything.”

Bucky leaned down and connected their lips in a passionate kiss. Their tongues tangled as their lips moved in sync, and it was just as hot as they had desired it to be. And yet, it was also sweet and kind and gentle. 

“You’re my everything too, Stevie. You always will be.”

Another tear fell from Steve’s eye, and then another, and another. “God, I can’t believe this.”

“Believe what?”

“This.” Steve gestured to the both of them. “That we’re here, that we’re connected. That we won’t get separated again. That we’re gonna _get married_. It’s just……. It’s all so…….. Unbelievable. It doesn’t feel real.”

“It’s real, lil Stevie.” Bucky whispered, caressing Steve’s face as he rolled his hips forward in a confident thrust. “This is all real.” 

“Can you believe it?”

“I can’t. But I am so damn grateful that it is. I am so damn grateful I can hold you in my arms again. I never would’ve thought I could.” 

They shared another kiss- a slow, gentle kiss- before they were once again consumed by the raging heat and lust of the situation. It was like molten lava, rushing through both of their bodies slowly and yet maddeningly at the same time. It was an overwhelming sensation as it ripped through the both of them. 

Bucky quickly let go of Steve’s legs, not bothering to hold them up any longer. His attention was now completely captivated by the effort of keeping his hips in a steady rhythm, instead of just thrusting randomly. Even in the heat and lust of the situation, Bucky wouldn’t let himself get carried away and accidentally hurt Steve- and he’d be damned if he ever hurt Steve. He could never do that. Never in a million years. 

The heat in the room spiked, building and building until it couldn’t hold anymore, and it all came crashing down. 

The warm, bubbly feeling that Steve hadn’t yet forgotten rose up again inside him, rushing through his body, lighting up every nerve. Pure, unadulterated molten desire flooded him, until he could barely even speak. Still, Steve lifted his hand to Bucky’s cheek. 

“I’m close. I- I’m close.” He choked out, throwing his head back. 

“Let it all out baby. Let it all out.”

And so he did.

And oh boy, was it absolutely breathtaking.

In a split second, Steve completely broke. His walls came crashing down, and the feeling completely overtook him. It slammed into him, through every nerve and every vein and every pore and every muscle, overwhelming him and leaving him in an utter state of pure, unadulterated bliss. It didn’t even feel real. But it was. His body twitched and spasmed, and that was enough for Bucky- who broke just seconds later.

Bucky’s hips stuttered as his own orgasm pounded into him. It took all of his strength to hold himself up in the air- but he did nonetheless. His orgasm ripped through him, tearing through every inch of his body with so much force that Bucky could barely believe it was real. 

As his body spasmed as though it was lit by a live wire, Steve felt limp as a ragdoll, drowning in so much pleasure that he couldn’t even think. He even almost fell asleep right then and there, wracked with pleasure and endorphins and pure bliss. His eyes fluttered closed and he let out a large sigh of content- right as Bucky collapsed from the onslaught of overstimulation. 

Steve didn’t mind, though. Bucky sooned regained a semblance of thought, and he cocooned Steve’s body, pulling them even closer as their chests heaved. 

“Good god, you’re amazing.” Bucky breathed, resting his head down. 

Steve laid his head back and laughed. “As are you.”

And the two laid like that for a while, cocooning each other with their naked bodies, drowning in warmth. Ultimately, they both tore apart and walked to the shower, Steve with a slight limp. As soon as the warm water began to run, they stepped into the shower together. They rinsed off what they had done, what they had made together, and soon fell back into bed, pulling their boxers back on before they sank into the sheets. 

Within minutes, they were both asleep, the thought of dinner long forgotten.

**Author's Note:**

> Just for clarification: I didn't discover that Infinity War took place in August until months after it came out. And so, in my timeline, Infinity War happened in late April, when the movie came out.
> 
> Also also, you can hopefully expect more Stucky smut oneshots from me in the future, so keep your eyes peeled ;)


End file.
